brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
