dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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