Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
