How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
