Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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