if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
