just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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