He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
