And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
So much rum. So many feels.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
