im holly from the hills drunk
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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