what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
