a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Randomize
