Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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