My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
