Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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