the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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