Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
