oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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