We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
