Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
