i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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