His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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