Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
