Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Everyone says I win the strip club
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
