so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
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she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
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When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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