If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
