can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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