I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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