I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
