I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
porn star boner night. come get it.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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