I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
