mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
