I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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