In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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