He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
