Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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