its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think I sprained my soul last night
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
