whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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