Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I believe in your delicious
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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