my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
