By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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