i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
