Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
