The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
