fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
