im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
