I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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