Ambien. No doubt about it.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
