Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
