It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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