I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
