we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
