$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
