He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
