if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
You smell like stripper and shame
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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