my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
