I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
